My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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