Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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