Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
