I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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