Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
dude. I can hear the air.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
