they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
