at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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