Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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