I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
