I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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