Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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