There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
where am i from again
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
