i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
