dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
