I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Randomize
