I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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