playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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