I hate your face
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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