Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
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He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
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Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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