She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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