What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize