there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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