My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Randomize
