Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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