What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
