Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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