It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
