what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.