How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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