if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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