we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
