There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
it's great music for shaving your balls
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
