genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize