nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
