we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
