My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
