At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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