I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
