my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
