My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
