This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
