If that was your dad, he is hot
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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