do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
