Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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