Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
third nipple confirmed
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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