Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
