if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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