And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
