i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
