I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
