Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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