STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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