Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
