i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
