none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize