Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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