Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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