Where is the hickey?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
