the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
you made out with another girl for some wings
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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