are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
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