she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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