I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
