Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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