I'm really into asian looking animals
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
