You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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